Today is Day Three of Week Three of
the Omer. That is Day Sixteen of the
Omer. The theme of the Week is Happiness.
I wrote yesterday
about politics, something that matters enough but has no bearing on our individual
happiness – or lack thereof. And it is
important to recognize this fact, because we can spend our entire lives
focusing on big issues – public policy, electoral politics, the state of the
world – which can and do very easily become foci of our general angst. But at the end of the day, if we are going to
achieve happiness, it will have nothing to do with these things.
Today, I want to
talk about Conspiracies. No, not the
Conspiracy that is a serious criminal offence both in my home country, the USA
and here in Australia. Conspiracy
according to the definition in the criminal codes, is the act of two or more
persons planning to carry out a crime.
Say, to murder someone. Even if
they do not actual carry out what they’ve planned, they have committed the
offence of Conspiracy. A conviction for
Conspiracy, can put someone away in prison for a long time.
But what I want to
address is Conspiracy Theories. That
is, beliefs that all manner of bad phenomena – really, almost anything and
everything – are the result of malefactors gathering in secret and planning big
events to help themselves, and never mind how much anybody else gets hurt in
the process.
Michael Medved, a
talk radio host who broadcasts out of Seattle in the USA, dedicates one hour of
his daily program each month – on the day of or a day close to the Full Moon,
of course – where he challenges listeners to call in, state, and explain their
favourite Conspiracy Theory. It’s a
fascinating program; when I was living in the USA I tried to take it in as much
as I could.
There are things in
life that I have trouble understanding.
Yes, believe it or not! J For example, I have a hard time understanding
why people take their disputes to the Judge Judy Show. Look, I get it that the show pays any damages
awarded. So if you’re liable to have a
judgement against you in court, there is a financial incentive to taking the
case to Judge Judy’s ‘court.’ On the
other hand, most of the judgements are relatively small. And the ultimate ‘price’ is you get to show a
worldwide audience what an idiot you are.
Because many of the cases are completely idiotic. If they weren’t, they would not get chosen
for the ‘docket.’ Because the show, after
all, is tragicomic theatre. It’s all
about showing what idiots people can be, and showing how it takes a clever mind
like that of Judge Judy to cut through the idiocy. So I can’t understand people agreeing to be
exposed on the show. If I were up
against a small-claims summons of someone seeking $500 or $1,000 from me, I
think I’d rather take my chances with a ‘real’ court where if I have made
an idiotic claim or defence, at least there will be some measure of anonymity
involved!
Likewise, I find it
difficult to understand why someone with a conspiracy theory would call in to
the Michael Medved Show and be exposed to a national audience. True, it’s radio: nobody sees the callers’ faces or hears more
than their first name and city. Still, I
have called talk radio shows – not Medved’s Conspiracy Hour – and had friends
tell me afterward: I heard your call
on the Ploni Radio Show. Really, I
think that the reason people call in with their Conspiracy Theories, is that
they are truly convinced of the truth of their particular theory and that Mr.
Medved – and the rest of the country – will recognize its brilliance. Look, the fact that Medved does the show on
the Full Moon – and that he introduces the hour with, among other effects, the
sound of a wolf howling – should be hint enough that anybody who calls with
their Conspiracy is going to get shot down.
Okay, it’s not 100%. Very rarely,
Medved will actually agree with a caller, that such-and-such is very likely a
valid conspiracy. But 98% of the time,
he cuts them down at the knees. And I
believe that the reason, as I said above, that people call in even so, is
because they are absolutely convinced of the truth of their own Theory.
So what does this
have to do with Happiness? I think it’s
the same relation to Happiness, as Politics…which I addressed yesterday. Most people whom you encounter day-to-day –
perhaps you, Dear Reader – are thoroughly miserable. But they don’t recognize that Happiness comes
from within. So when people are
miserable, they spend incredible amounts of time and energy trying to identify
the sources – sources outside oneself, of course – of their unhappiness.
Look, everybody who
breathes has been aggrieved by someone else – more likely, by more than one
someone. We can all sit down together
than make lists of grievances against us by various people. I can do it.
And frankly, I’m sure I’m going to be on someone’s grievance
list. Maybe more than one. It’s the nature of life. For every time that I’m feeling miserable, I
can find someone to point to, to blame him or her for my misery at that
particular moment. How much more
powerful, if I can even point to some Great Conspiracy that gives not only me,
but many, many people misery and all the time?
Just think of how comfortable that would be! I would never have to take
responsibility for my own Happiness! I
could be as miserable as I want to be, and never the one to blame.
This is human
nature, and we know it. Many
years ago, I wanted to start a support group for divorced people. I approached another chaplain about
co-sponsoring it with me, in order to strengthen the message that the problem of
divorcees trying to get their feet back on the ground – trying to get, as they
say, ‘their mojo back’ – is a problem that is universal, transcending religious
fault lines. Well, the chaplain
colleague, whom I would have thought would be up for such a challenge, politely
declined. The problem, Don, is that
these kind of groups usually turn into forums for everybody bashing and blaming
their ex. Well, as you can imagine I
went ahead and started the group anyway…and as you can probably also imagine,
it turned out exactly as my colleague had feared. It takes an exceptional person – and I mean really
exceptional – to take responsibility for bad things he or she has been
through. Most go through life with a
sense of grievance. True, some are
better at it than others. But it is human
nature.
Why are Conspiracies bad? It’s not because they aren’t true 98% of the
time. When they are among that
98%, it’s usually self-evident. That is,
except to the person or persons propounding the particular theory. No, the real reason they’re ‘bad,’ is
because they are a distraction. When we
focus on things outside ourselves as sources of our unhappiness – and for most Conspiracy-Mongers,
their pet Conspiracy usually is identified as a source of unhappiness
for them – then we’re unlikely to get with the work necessary to actually be
happy. The work that is internal. Tomorrow, I’m going to start to address – Finally,
you might be thinking! – my own ideas as to the internal work that will get
us on the road to Happiness. Stay tuned!
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