Sunday, May 8, 2016

Counting the Omer: Monday night, 9 May 2016/3 Iyar 5776

Today is Day Three of Week Three of the Omer.  That is Day Sixteen of the Omer.   The theme of the Week is Happiness.

          I wrote yesterday about politics, something that matters enough but has no bearing on our individual happiness – or lack thereof.  And it is important to recognize this fact, because we can spend our entire lives focusing on big issues – public policy, electoral politics, the state of the world – which can and do very easily become foci of our general angst.  But at the end of the day, if we are going to achieve happiness, it will have nothing to do with these things.
          Today, I want to talk about Conspiracies.  No, not the Conspiracy that is a serious criminal offence both in my home country, the USA and here in Australia.  Conspiracy according to the definition in the criminal codes, is the act of two or more persons planning to carry out a crime.  Say, to murder someone.  Even if they do not actual carry out what they’ve planned, they have committed the offence of Conspiracy.  A conviction for Conspiracy, can put someone away in prison for a long time.
          But what I want to address is Conspiracy Theories.  That is, beliefs that all manner of bad phenomena – really, almost anything and everything – are the result of malefactors gathering in secret and planning big events to help themselves, and never mind how much anybody else gets hurt in the process.
          Michael Medved, a talk radio host who broadcasts out of Seattle in the USA, dedicates one hour of his daily program each month – on the day of or a day close to the Full Moon, of course – where he challenges listeners to call in, state, and explain their favourite Conspiracy Theory.  It’s a fascinating program; when I was living in the USA I tried to take it in as much as I could.
          There are things in life that I have trouble understanding.  Yes, believe it or not! J  For example, I have a hard time understanding why people take their disputes to the Judge Judy Show.  Look, I get it that the show pays any damages awarded.  So if you’re liable to have a judgement against you in court, there is a financial incentive to taking the case to Judge Judy’s ‘court.’  On the other hand, most of the judgements are relatively small.  And the ultimate ‘price’ is you get to show a worldwide audience what an idiot you are.  Because many of the cases are completely idiotic.  If they weren’t, they would not get chosen for the ‘docket.’  Because the show, after all, is tragicomic theatre.  It’s all about showing what idiots people can be, and showing how it takes a clever mind like that of Judge Judy to cut through the idiocy.  So I can’t understand people agreeing to be exposed on the show.  If I were up against a small-claims summons of someone seeking $500 or $1,000 from me, I think I’d rather take my chances with a ‘real’ court where if I have made an idiotic claim or defence, at least there will be some measure of anonymity involved!
          Likewise, I find it difficult to understand why someone with a conspiracy theory would call in to the Michael Medved Show and be exposed to a national audience.  True, it’s radio:  nobody sees the callers’ faces or hears more than their first name and city.  Still, I have called talk radio shows – not Medved’s Conspiracy Hour – and had friends tell me afterward:  I heard your call on the Ploni Radio Show.  Really, I think that the reason people call in with their Conspiracy Theories, is that they are truly convinced of the truth of their particular theory and that Mr. Medved – and the rest of the country – will recognize its brilliance.  Look, the fact that Medved does the show on the Full Moon – and that he introduces the hour with, among other effects, the sound of a wolf howling – should be hint enough that anybody who calls with their Conspiracy is going to get shot down.  Okay, it’s not 100%.  Very rarely, Medved will actually agree with a caller, that such-and-such is very likely a valid conspiracy.  But 98% of the time, he cuts them down at the knees.  And I believe that the reason, as I said above, that people call in even so, is because they are absolutely convinced of the truth of their own Theory.
          So what does this have to do with Happiness?  I think it’s the same relation to Happiness, as Politics…which I addressed yesterday.  Most people whom you encounter day-to-day – perhaps you, Dear Reader – are thoroughly miserable.  But they don’t recognize that Happiness comes from within.  So when people are miserable, they spend incredible amounts of time and energy trying to identify the sources – sources outside oneself, of course – of their unhappiness.
          Look, everybody who breathes has been aggrieved by someone else – more likely, by more than one someone.  We can all sit down together than make lists of grievances against us by various people.  I can do it.  And frankly, I’m sure I’m going to be on someone’s grievance list.  Maybe more than one.  It’s the nature of life.  For every time that I’m feeling miserable, I can find someone to point to, to blame him or her for my misery at that particular moment.  How much more powerful, if I can even point to some Great Conspiracy that gives not only me, but many, many people misery and all the time?  Just think of how comfortable that would be!  I would never have to take responsibility for my own Happiness!  I could be as miserable as I want to be, and never the one to blame.
          This is human nature, and we know it.  Many years ago, I wanted to start a support group for divorced people.  I approached another chaplain about co-sponsoring it with me, in order to strengthen the message that the problem of divorcees trying to get their feet back on the ground – trying to get, as they say, ‘their mojo back’ – is a problem that is universal, transcending religious fault lines.  Well, the chaplain colleague, whom I would have thought would be up for such a challenge, politely declined.  The problem, Don, is that these kind of groups usually turn into forums for everybody bashing and blaming their ex.  Well, as you can imagine I went ahead and started the group anyway…and as you can probably also imagine, it turned out exactly as my colleague had feared.  It takes an exceptional person – and I mean really exceptional – to take responsibility for bad things he or she has been through.  Most go through life with a sense of grievance.  True, some are better at it than others.  But it is human nature.

           Why are Conspiracies bad?  It’s not because they aren’t true 98% of the time.  When they are among that 98%, it’s usually self-evident.  That is, except to the person or persons propounding the particular theory.  No, the real reason they’re ‘bad,’ is because they are a distraction.  When we focus on things outside ourselves as sources of our unhappiness – and for most Conspiracy-Mongers, their pet Conspiracy usually is identified as a source of unhappiness for them – then we’re unlikely to get with the work necessary to actually be happy.  The work that is internal.  Tomorrow, I’m going to start to address – Finally, you might be thinking! – my own ideas as to the internal work that will get us on the road to Happiness.  Stay tuned!

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