Today
is Day Three of Week Four of the Omer. That is Twenty-four Days of the
Omer. The Theme continues to be Happiness.
A friend of Clara
and me wrote this morning, offering some excellent feedback on Crohn’s
Disease. This friend suffers from Crohn’s
and wanted me to know that recent research had drawn the conclusion that Crohn’s
is caused by bacteria, and the increase in its incidence in recent year can probably
be attributed to increases in travel.
That’s good to know; admittedly-superficial checking on my part before
publishing yesterday’s blog post did not reveal that with such certainty: rather, an uncertainty as to several
different causes including a probable genetic connection. The friend shared some very helpful thoughts
including the importance of a positive outlook when suffering from such a
condition, and not letting it define oneself.
I agree 100 percent that this is great food for thought on the subject and
will get to it in a moment!
But first, let me
thank our friend for the feedback. There
is precious little forthcoming in my calling, even when I specifically request
it on something I’ve written or spoken about, or some program I’ve presented. I’m not complaining; it’s the nature of what
I do! J But I do appreciate getting it, both as an
affirmation that what I do does impact people out there, and also to help me to
think through issues. So please, if what
I write about in my blog does make you think to offer a response…don’t be
shy! Just please: if you’re responding through the Blogspot
site and not via e-mail, don’t comment anonymously. If I know who you are, and how to contact
you, it will enable us to have a dialogue.
If you send in an anonymous comment, I will ignore it! In this case, experience is my teacher.
I would like to
respond to my friend’s feedback, and then take up their challenge for another
direction to go in my thoughts.
Sometimes, when
people assert that this or that disease is either caused, or exacerbated by,
emotions, they can make it sound like they’re saying, it’s all in your
head. Of course, if the person makes
it sound that way, it is apt to be taken as a dismissive response to somebody’s
suffering. In pointing at unhappiness as
a root cause of physical illness, I hope that I haven’t sounded that way. Of course, for a disease such as Crohn’s – or
just about any other – there is some biological cause. Even mental illness whose root is by definition
non-organic, is understood to alter the body chemistry. That’s why doctors treat mental disorders
with psychotropic medications; the root cause can be treated with talk and
other therapies, but the symptoms must also be treated when they reach a
certain point of severity. Otherwise,
the sufferer will not be well enough to work on the mental side.
Having said that,
there is so much definitive research linking disease to mental state. My uncle, Dr. Leonard Schneider z”l,
was a professor of clinical psychology at University of Southern California and
was part of a multi-disciplinary team looking into this connection. It was many years ago, when I was a young
man. I remember him suggesting that even
in those with cancer, an apparent connection with mental/emotional state
can be established that shows the latter making the patient more susceptible
to the disease, as well as exacerbating its effects. This is not to say that we should treat
cancer with meditation instead of chemotherapy.
Rather, that the patient should take a holistic approach to his or her
healing and work on all aspects of themselves as they seek to defeat the
disease. If meditation (to give an
example) will help the patient find the serenity they need to fight the
disease, then it should be considered as part of the regimen of treatment. If the patient is patently unhappy, they
should certainly use whatever resources available – even my blog! – to help
them find a route to Happiness.
And that brings me back
to what my friend said, and I think it was profound, concerning living with a
debilitating disease – in this case, Crohn’s.
When you suffer from some physical condition, it is important not
to define yourself – or allow others to define you – by it. Especially if it’s a condition that is
obvious to someone who may see you: say,
a skin affliction or other visually-obvious condition. There’s no question that others – especially those
with whom you share only a superficial encounter – will define you by your
disease. It’s your task to not let
them. To look in the mirror, or examine
yourself, and see beyond your affliction.
If you cannot define yourself in a way that transcends your
affliction, then how would you expect others to do so? You must learn to see yourself in the way,
that you would like others to see you.
Easy? Not by a longshot. You cannot control the way that others see
you. But you can influence it, by
seeing yourself positively and by conveying an air of positivity. Through self-acceptance, you can make others’
non-acceptance mean far less. Through
self-acceptance, you can begin to reach for the elusive Happiness.
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