Today
is Day Seven of Week Four of the Omer. That is Twenty-eight Days of the
Omer. The Theme continues to be Happiness.
You know what a ‘straw man’ is, don’t you? It’s a rhetorical device, an argument one
makes solely for the purpose of knocking it down – of contradicting it. With what I’m going to write today, some
readers might think that I’m showing that yesterday’s blog post was nothing
more than a straw man. Because yesterday,
I argued that work is essential for Happiness.
And today, I’m going to make the case that leisure is essential
for Happiness.
Yesterday, I confessed to having been something of a ‘workaholic’
for much of my adult life. One of my
bosses in the US Air Force chaplaincy once wrote about me in an annual OPR
(Officer’s Performance Report): The
Rabbi likes a full plate. And I did
fill my plate often to overflowing, readily taking on programs and duties
that other chaplains would only take under duress. Because, as a Jewish chaplain I would never
have a large congregational role, I readily took on duties where I was able to
have an impact on the greater military community. For example, in one assignment I gave dozens
of briefings to those returning from combat zone deployments, on re-establishing
intimacy at home. Several years after
retiring, I was waiting for a routine medical appointment, and one of the
enlisted technicians working in the Air Force clinic came up and asked me: Aren’t you the ‘Love Rabbi’ from
Ramstein? He had attended one of my
briefings in Ramstein, upon returning from his deployment, and somehow
remembered it and the Rabbi who had given it.
I had a ‘notoriety’ for my willingness to take on issues that other
chaplains preferred to leave to someone else.
And that kept me very busy.
Since my retirement from the military, I’ve learned to slow down a
bit. To consider carefully before I take
on some new venture or program. To leave
more time for more contemplative and creative activities. To enjoy a little downtime now and then. It hasn’t always been an easy transition. But it has taught me the importance of
leisure.
Nowadays, people talk a lot about the challenge of maintaining a ‘work-life
balance.’ In other words, there’s more
to life than just work, and we can’t leave it to chance. Leisure is not just something that comes
suddenly when the work is finished.
Sometimes, it is necessary for work to take a back seat to other
activities. Especially when there is
someone else – or someones else – who are depending on time and
relationship with you. For me as for
others, to internalise and put this into effect in my life was a challenge.
It’s
important that we have activities outside of work that we enjoy. That we look forward to doing, to filling the
time that we are able to make for them.
Because most of us will eventually retire from our work. And when we do, we will need activities to
give us a reason to get out of bed in the morning, to get dressed and get out
of the house.
My father z”l, neglected this part of retirement
planning. This is very common; for most,
‘retirement planning’ consists entirely of organising one’s finances to ensure viability
in retirement. But retirement counsellors
will tell you that it’s also – perhaps equally – important to plan for how you’re
going to spend your time in retirement, to keep your outlook positive and your
self-image intact. My father, like many,
worried only about the financial consequences of retiring and as a result, as
soon as he retired his world shrank radically.
In a calling where I interact with many retired people, I find this a
very common pitfall. Especially among ‘young’
retirees, or those in good physical health, it is important to have activities
outside the home that give one’s life meaning. But many fail to plan for this, thinking that
once they have time, they’ll naturally fill it with meaningful activities.
Clara and I spent a few hours last weekend with a couple we have
known for a few years, a couple who are perhaps a decade younger than us. But we had never been in their home, in their
‘natural habitat.’ We knew them as having
enjoyed success in a number of ventures over the years. And as having pleasant, off-beat
personalities. But only in spending an
afternoon at their home, did we really get a sense of who they are, and of how
successfully they have navigated this ‘work-life balance’ equation. Their business is thriving. But they are not so ambitious as to be
unwilling to sometimes turn business away, when they see work as threatening to
encroach too deeply into their leisure time, their time together. They seem to have internalised the message
that nobody, on their death bed, has ever said that they wished they’d spent
more time at the office. Rather, one is
likely to regret not spending time doing enjoyable activities with those who
matter most in life. We were impressed,
and heartened to get to know a delightful couple who are hard-working,
ambitious, but not overly so. A
couple who has managed to achieve some balance in life.
So my message today should not be seen as a contradiction of what I
wrote yesterday! But there is no
contradiction. Work is important. Apart from giving us the financial wherewithal
to live, it gives us purpose in life.
But it should not completely dominate our time and energies. It is important to take time for other
activities, especially those that can be done with our partner and
children. Time passed much too quickly,
and we cannot leave this to chance.
Rabbi Tarfon expressed this so well, as recorded in Mishna Avot,
Chapter 2. In Mishna 15, he
states: The day is short. There is much work to be done. The Master is insistent. Each one of us has a mission in life, and
it calls out to us with an imperative that must be answered. But the same Rabbi Tarfon, in Mishna 16,
tempers his call: It is not up to you
to finish the work, but you are not free to avoid it. In other words, we don’t have to apply
ourselves with the mindset that, but for me, it won’t get done. What we’re able to accomplish, we should
accomplish. But we don’t have to devote
ourselves exclusively to work. Whatever
we don’t finish, someone else will take over.
Get away from the office or shop, and enjoy!
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