Thursday, October 15, 2015

Good Enough: a Reflection for Parashat Noah, Friday 16 October 2015

Almost everybody has heard of the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People, by Rabbi Harold Kushner.  It was a great read, and an easy read.  It was essentially a commentary on the Book of Job.  Kushner set out to answer the question of why Divine Justice sometimes seems so…unjust.  If you haven’t read it, find a copy and invest a few hours in a book that will be life-changing.
Early in my rabbinate, one day a package arrived in the post.  It was a publisher’s gratis copy of Kushner’s then-new book, How Good do We Have to Be?  Back then, whenever a book of Jewish interest would be published, they would send gratis copies to Reform Rabbis.  I suppose, on the assumption that most of us would read it.  And if we thought it was worthwhile, we would recommend it from the pulpit.  The gratis copies of books don’t come anymore.  It was the one fringe benefit of the job.  Oh, well…
So a new Kushner book – given that When Bad Things Happen is one of the best Jewish books of our lifetimes – is an exciting event!  After dinner, I sat down on the sofa and began to read.
So, I imagine the question is now swirling about in your minds:  how Good does Rabbi Kushner think we have to be?  Don’t worry, I won’t make you read the book!  I’ll give you the Cliff Notes version.  Ready?  How good do we have to be?  Drumroll, please…Good Enough!  That’s the essence of Kushner’s answer.  We have to be Good Enough.  Good enough for what?  Good enough…to Do Good.
Think about it.  Most of us struggle throughout our lives to Do Good.  Sometimes we succeed.  Often we don’t.  Along the way, one cannot predict exactly how and when they’ll succeed in Doing Good.  Nor can one predict exactly how and when they’ll fail.  There’s seldom any rhyme or reason.  Logically, one would think that the imperfect person would tend to succeed in the little matters.  And fail in the big matters.  And there would be a sort of cut off score, if you will.  A point at which Doing Good gets so difficult that those with lesser levels of Propensity to Good in them would start failing to Do Good when the reach challenges at that level.  Everybody would have such a cut-off.  Smaller than that, or easier than that, we manage to Do Good.  Bigger than that, or more difficult than that, we stop managing.  It’s like math problems.  Up to the level of complexity that we can handle, we manage to solve them.  Reach our level of competence, and solving them is hit-or-miss.  Above that level, we stop trying altogether.
But Doing Good is not like solving math problems.  Some people succeed in Doing Good in really spectacular ways.  And fail in little ways.  It’s not really less logical…it’s illogical altogether!  But that’s human nature.  There is such a complex mix of influences which, at any given moment, conspire to turn us toward The Good or not.  In some ways it’s complexity.  But it’s more complex than that.
Good Enough.  That’s how Good we have to be.  Good Enough…to do Good.  Which brings me to Noah.
Our Torah portion this week is Noah.  It begins:  Eileh toldot Noah.  These are the offspring of Noah.  It’s the second weekly portion in the Book of Bereishit.  Before the text proceeds to name the offspring of Noah, it adds parenthetically:  Noah ish tzadik tamim haya bedorotav.  Et ha-Elokim hithalech Noah.  Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation.  Noah walked with G-d.
The sages of the generations have zeroed in on the phrase a righteous man, blameless in his generation.  What exactly does it mean?  I’ll give you the Cliff Notes version.  Noah was Good Enough.  Good enough to do Good.  And – here’s the rub – there was no logic to when he succeeded in Doing Good and when he failed.  Asked to undertake the monumental project of building an Ark and gathering two of each animal aboard it, he did.  Okay, mostly…he somehow missed the unicorns.  But what a project!  We all know and love Bill Cosby’s famous skit about Noah.  Where he portrays Noah as a reluctant actor.  Can I even mention Bill Cosby anymore?  The Torah gives no hint that Noah resisted being drawn into this project.  After G-d gives Noah a lengthy description of the Ark and tells him what to do with it and why, the text tells us:  Kein asa.  So he did.
He did.  He did Good in a big way.  And then as soon as the flood waters receded, he made some hooch and got drunk with his sons and they performed some, er, let’s say abominations.  So Noah was Good Enough.  He was Good Enough to perform a monumental effort that the Torah credits as saving humanity to carry on after the Flood.  An act of immeasurable Good.  But then, he got drunk and couldn’t keep his pants zipped up.
And we’re sometimes like that.  We can come through in big ways, perform big acts of Good.  And then something small trips us up.  And then we’re no longer Good.  We’re remembered for that non-good act.  Whatever it was, small or large, that tripped us up.  The people who matter most to us, will have a tendency to look at us and remember only that time when we somehow, for whatever reason, failed to do Good.
And then, sadly, we stop seeing ourselves as Good Enough.  And then we don’t see ourselves as Good Enough, then we reduce our propensity to Do Good.  Because we’ve been dragged down to a lower level, so to speak.  We’ve lost the self confidence that tells us that we can Do Good.  We cease to believe in ourselves.  Because others, who are aware of our failing, no longer believe in us.
If someone who is close to you generally Goes Good, but has failed on rare occasions, I want you to think about how you see them.  Do you look at them through cynical eyes, knowing that they’ve failed?  How about cutting them a little slack?  Maybe they were like Noah.  They were Good Enough.  Good Enough to Do Good…until some situation came along that tripped them up.  We all have our failings.  Wouldn’t it be better if we defined one another, not by our failings, but by our successes?
I submit to you that it would.  So why is it the opposite?  Why do we define others by their failings?  I think it’s like this.  As we struggle to Do Good, we get frustrated at our own failings.  Which are going to happen, given human nature.  And because we have removed ourselves from our pedestals because of our own failings, we somehow take comfort from pulling others off their pedestals.  So we don’t have to feel inferior to them.  The way we relate to one another becomes based on seeing one another’s dark side.  If he has a dark side, then I can’t be blamed for my dark side.  So in effect, we expend all kinds of emotional energy tearing one another down.  Whilst instead, we should be building one another up.  Each of us can be Good Enough.  We only need to be inspired to reach for it.

Lift one another up.  A simple, yet effective strategy for increasing the Good in the world.  Help one another to be Good Enough.  And work to be Good Enough ourselves.  And always, every day, a little more Good.  Shabbat shalom.

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