Today
is Day Seven of Week Seven of the Omer. That is Forty-nine Days of the
Omer. The Theme is: Seven
Principles
So, just as all
good things must come to an end, so too this year’s Counting of the Omer. Whilst I’ve enjoyed offering a new thought
every day during this period, I have to admit I’m happy it’s coming to an
end. Writing something substantial every
day is a bit draining! Maybe I should
take a lesson from Twitter and limit myself to 140 characters! No, I don’t see that happening; I just don’t think
in bytes of 140 characters!
I’ve used this, the last week of the Counting, to go over the
principles articulated by Dr. Stephen R Covey in his blockbuster book, The
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
When I read this book, and took the course that expands upon it, I
found these principles to be nothing short of life-changing. But the most incredible things is that we
already ‘know’ virtually all the Habits, at least superficially, because Covey’s
nomenclature has so permeated our culture, and the words and phrases he coined
have become standard English.
In offering the principles as daily thoughts, it is not my
intention to give you a ‘Cliff Notes’ version of Covey’s book. Rather, my purpose is to whet your appetite
to buy and read the book if you haven’t yet, or re-visit it if you read it sometime
ago. I am so convinced of the need to
re-visit The Seven Habits, that I keep it on my Kindle e-reading device
and yes, I do refer to it fairly often.
Does this mean that I succeed in living out The Seven Habits constantly,
24/7/365? Negative, and that leads me to
some feedback I received yesterday.
I am grateful for the feedback I’ve received from you during this
time of offering daily thoughts.
Firstly, because it tells me that someone is actually reading
them! And secondly, because it tells me
that you are engaging with the material.
Some of your feedback has taken me to task for something I wrote. That’s okay, because you were nice enough
about it! But it reminds me of what a
colleague, Rabbi Mel Glazer in Colorado Springs, tells members of his
congregation when they tell him that they disagree with something of other that
he has said or written. I’m not
speaking for you, he would tell them. I’m speaking to you. I’ve learnt so much of importance from my
esteemed colleagues, and from those whom I’ve served in the rabbinate, over the
years – and this has to be one of the all-time best gems of wisdom. If you think a Rabbi is attempting to speak for
you, which is understandable because after all, an unofficial function of
the Rabbi is to serve as a sort of mouth-piece for the Jewish community to the
greater world, you might take offense at something the Rabbi said or wrote
because you disagreed with it. But when
you understand that he is speaking to you, it changes the calculus
considerably.
The feedback I received yesterday was from someone who has been
reading my daily thoughts, and sometimes reacting to them in an e-mail. As I prepare to wind up the series, she
offered her sincere apologies for not living up to the principles I’ve been
writing about. I explained to her in private,
and now I’m going to repeat in public: Any
behavioral habits that I advocate in these thoughts are not be taken as prescriptive. That’s why I’ve offered so many anecdotes
telling you about instances where I have not lived up to the principles I’m
advocating. It’s not because I like
writing about myself so much! (Okay,
maybe in part…) Really, I’m trying to
illustrate to you that even simple principles are difficult to live out
constantly! So when I offer these
thoughts, I’m not trying to show you how messed-up you are. Rather, I’m offering an aspirational view
for you to consider and, if you agree with what I’m saying, which might help
you in your efforts to be happier, to be more effective, whatever. Please don’t read my thoughts, see yourself
as falling short, and thinking poorly of yourself for that! I only want to uplift you!
So we’ve gone through six of the Seven Habits. The first three dealt with the private
person, or as Covey put it, achieving private victory. They are:
Be Proactive, Begin with the End in Mind, and Put First Things
First. It’s easy to see these as
organising principles, but they are really much more. They have to do with taking your Corre Values
and adjusting the way that you operate in every sphere to help you to live them
out.
The next three Habits dealt with the public person, or as Covey put
it achieving public victory. They
are: Think Win-win, Seek to
Understand, then to be Understood, and Synergize. These three Habits help in those areas of
life where we are interdependent with others. In other words, in just about every area
of life.
The final Habit is really appropriate to highlight as we prepare
for the weekly Sabbath. It is: Sharpen the saw. Covey challenged us to see our bodies and minds
as tools that we use to accomplish. And
just like any tool, these need to be maintained in order to continue to get the
job done.
One uses a saw for cutting things.
And as you use it, the blade becomes dulled. When that happens, if you continue using it
you will find it works less and less efficiently. Does that mean that we discard a dull
saw? Of course not; we take it to a
specialist, who sharpens it for us.
In the same way, the ‘saw’ of our bodies, minds…also of our
initiative, must be ‘sharpened’ from time to time. That’s why we take days off from our work,
whatever it is, relax, and engage in recreational activities of our own
choice. That’s why we make time to
work-out in the gym, or take a run/walk/bike ride, go for a swim of sail, play
a round of golf, a set of tennis – whatever activities we particularly
enjoy. Doing so, leaves us refreshed and
ready to tackle the next challenges in our work. If we don’t take time off, and do
these wort of things to refresh ourselves, we find ourselves becoming
progressively less effective. So doing
so is not self-indulgent in any way: it
is necessary, as necessary as eating well and getting a good night’s sleep.
G-d, through the Torah, offers a way to Sharpen the Saw that
has surely stood the test of time – and that is, the weekly Sabbath. The Torah specifies the Sabbath of rest as
being on the seventh day, which begins with sunset today. This aspect is only considered binding upon
Jews. Some – most – Christians have made
Sunday into their day of rest, since that is the day of the week when their
saviour arose from the dead according to their scriptures. Our Muslim cousins make their special day on
Friday. And that’s fine – they are
still, in principle, taking one day in seven to refresh themselves and their
faith. Of course it would be more
convenient for us Jews, if everybody else would adopt the same day we mark
as the Sabbath! But otherwise, it’s
simply important that all take their day of rest from their industrious and
creative work, and take the time to contemplate, consider, rest and enjoy.
If we are not careful to ensure that we have enough opportunity to
recreate, all the six aforementioned Habits won’t make us effective. We’ll burn ourselves out for sure. So Sharpen the Saw is important,
because it is the key to everything.
And now I sign off from the daily thoughts. I wish you a restful Shabbat, and a joyous
Shavuot. And I will be back next Shabbat
with the weekly thoughts!
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