Today is Day One of Week Two of the
Omer. That is Day Eight of the
Omer. The theme of the Week is Relationships.
A couple of days ago, Clara and I sneaked out on a weekday
afternoon to go to the movies. Okay, it
wasn’t really sneaking. Since I
work all kinds of hours when others are at leisure, I don’t begrudge myself a
couple of hours at the movies when I’m caught up on the highest-priority work.
So we went to the
movies and saw Mother’s Day, a romantic comedy of very recent
release. (Obviously, with Mother’s Day
coming up in one week, the film’s release was deliberately timed.) I hope I’m not calling my masculinity into
question when I reveal that I like this genre of films, commonly referred to as
Chick Flicks. And believe me, I
like ‘bloke-y’ films enough: military,
espionage, and crime thrillers, for example.
But every now and then, I feel like a good cry in the anonymous darkness
of a theatre! And it turned out to be a
very good flick…although with a cast featuring the likes of Julia Roberts,
Jennifer Anniston, Kate Hudson and Hector Elizondo, that could have been
predicted.
The film is a series
of vignettes with overlapping characters, all of whom are either related or
good friends, built around the theme of making peace with mothers and
motherhood. The first sub-plot was divorced
mother, Jennifer Anniston, confronted with her-ex-husband’s new wife’s desire
to bind with Anniston’s children – the new wife’s step-children. Anniston’s character has cast her eyes upon
the eminently eligible Jason Sudeikis, whose character is a retired USMC Master
Sergeant widowed after his wife, also a Marine, was killed in Afghanistan. And Jason’s character is not ready to let go,
despite the urging of his two daughters and various friends. The next sub-plot is a mother and famous author
and media personality, Julia Roberts, who as a teenage mother gave up her
daughter for adoption, and her reunion with that daughter – Britt Robertson –
whose research had revealed her mother’s identity. Meanwhile the daughter, given her history (or
lack thereof) with her mother, is reluctant to get married to her boyfriend, a budding
comedian played by Jack Whitehall. And
then there’s Grey Nomad mother Margo Martindale, whose two grown daughters –
Kate Hudson and Sarah Chalke – cannot bring themselves to tell her the truth
about their lives: one is married to an
Indian doctor of whom her racist parents won’t approve, and the other is a
lesbian. Mom and Dad show up
unexpectedly for Mother’s Day and find out the truth.
As always happens in
films of this genre, each of these conflicts works itself out – and all on
Mother’s Day, hence the title. If only
life could be a romantic comedy! But alas,
it is not. Real life, unfortunately,
more often resembles a soap opera such as The Bold and the Beautiful.
Anybody who follows
my blogging know that I’ve developed a fascination with The Bold and the Beautiful. Why would a Rabbi spend time watching
such a show? The initial attraction was that
I see so many people in real life, acting like the characters in that
show. And the show’s writers are quite
expert at weaving a plot where one character is stabbing someone in the back this
week, then making peace with the aggrieved party, who then a week or two down
the line stabs the same person – or someone else – in the back. And the truth is that almost all the
characters – with the possible exception of Quinn, who can be evil personified,
are essentially good people who, as Clara would put it, listen to their hearts
instead of their heads. Like most people
we know. Whose roads to hell are paved
with good intentions.
That’s the nature of
human life. As Dennis Prager, the
American Jewish commentator who brings an unusual clarity to such things likes
to declare: The majority of evil in
the world is caused by people with good intentions. And believe me, I hear it all the time
after someone is confronted with the fact that they hurt someone else,
sometimes spectacularly: I meant
well.
It’s good to mean
well, but it is equally important to do good. We charge through life, not thinking things
through, causing hurt and pain to others, because we didn’t think through our
actions first. And unfortunately, in so
many interpersonal dramas we do not somehow manage to transcend the conflict as
all the characters in Mother’s Day did.
Instead, these conflict fester, ruling our lives because pride keeps us
from finding a way to go beyond them. It’s
a tragedy on a global scale, because in a world with no shortage of defeats, hurts,
and dangers, it would be so wonderful to be able to take refuge in our
relationships: family, partner, friends.
We have entered the
second week of the Counting of the Omer, our seven-week journey from liberation
to revelation. As we have re-enacted our
liberation from the Egyptian Pharaoh’s slavery and the constricted air of
Egypt. Let us continue to prepare our hearts for the re-enactment of our
receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai. I
propose that, as the next segment of that journey, we think hard about
relationships: how we enter into them,
how we nurture them, and how we destroy them.
Somewhere between two and three million Jews stood at the foot of Mt
Sinai at the Big Event some 3,500 year ago.
Three million individuals would not have been able to receive the
Torah. But a nation, of one mind and
spirit rated the chance to possess and protect it. In order to find unity with other Jews, it is
important first to find peace with those closest to us. May we find success and happiness in this
endeavour. A good week to all!
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