Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Good Death? A Drash for Friday, 28 February 2014

Our congregation has experienced death recently.  A number of long-time members have passed away in the last two months.  Each one is missed:  by close family members, and by the congregation as a whole.  In each case, these individuals were not so active in the shule in their last years as their illnesses took their toll.  Even so, you remember fondly when they were among the most active members of our community.  You remember them the way they were…just as you remember yourselves the way you were 10 or 15 years ago.
          As you know, I am periodically called upon to officiate at funerals for those who were not members of our congregation.  For the unaffiliated in our community.  We all agree that there are plenty of Jews out there on the Gold Coast who belong to neither shule, or go to Chabad.  Who do not even connect with the community through the handful of other ways that do not include synagogue affiliation, through organisations such as the NCJW.  They are simply out there; they call themselves Jews, but that self-definition does not lead to any specific acts of affiliation or connection.  Nobody can agree as to how many such Jews are out there.  Nobody could possibly know.  But we know they’re there.  We run into them:  accidentally, or through life events.
          So Jews die, and sometimes when they do I am called upon to perform the funeral service.  I’ve mentioned these occasions to you before, including from this bimah in my drashes.  Sometimes these encounters leave me especially sad because of the way that the deceased isolated themselves from the community.  We could have been there to comfort them in life, and to respect them in death.  But they took that opportunity away from us.  I do hope that, when I’ve mentioned such experiences, I’ve not given the impression of kvetching.  But rather of sadness over the tragedy of a Jew dying alone.
          I did another such funeral this week, for an unaffiliated person, and it was sad but also moving.  Let me explain.
          When people ask me how the Jews of Australia compare with those of America, I usually tell them that Jews are Jews, wherever you go.  And I mean that.  Jews in an Australian congregation have more in common with Jews in an American congregation, than not.  But if you press me on the issue, I usually offer the following observation.
          The Australian Jewish community has the largest percentage of members who are survivors of the Sho’ah, the Nazi Holocaust, and their children than any other Jewish community in the world except the Jews of Israel.  According to statistics, 48 percent of you either were yourselves in some way victims of the Hitler’s madness, or are direct descendants of those who were.  That fact, the overwhelming sharing of the one experience of your origins, really colours a lot of your attitudes about life…and Judaism.  There is no way around it.
          This week I buried a survivor.  A woman in her nineties.  A Dutch Jew who with her husband and young son, was rounded up after being hidden from the Nazis and their collaborators by some kind Christians.  Their story is remarkably similar to the more famous account of Anna Franck and her family.  But the difference is that this woman and her family were not further deported from the transit camp at Westerbork, east to one of the death camps as the Francks were.  Because she was a professional chef, and her husband a professional baker, they were kept in the Dutch camp to work feeding the thousands detained there.  They did not die but lived to try to transcend their experience.
          Unfortunately, most survivors are unable to transcend their experience.  It’s not only that the experience remains with them for the rest of their lives – that is a given.  A select number are able to rise up above their suffering and create lives of positive action, spurred on by the persecution they’ve experienced to make the world just a little better for the next generations.  But most, if we’re honest, are stuck for the rest of their lives in their prisons of memory.  Prisons of madness.  Prisons of unhappiness.  Prisons from which there is no parole, no release except death.  Such was this woman.  In her life, she was unable to transcend her experience.  Only in her death will she finally know that peace.  The peace she was unable to achieve in life.
          What does it take a achieve peace in life?  By peace, I do not mean quietude.  Although for some, quietude may be a prerequisite for peace.  Especially if one has live through tumultuous experiences.  But quietude is not, in of itself, peace.  Peace is wholeness.  How do we achieve wholeness?
          Often, for those who have experienced brokenness, achievement of wholeness comes from rising above the source of their brokenness.  If one is broken from having experienced persecution, one first does not persecute.  But then, one takes the further step of actively opposing persecution when one sees it.  That’s why Holocaust survivors, and their offspring, are often seen at the forefront of movements to raise awareness of, and stamp out, persecution of others.  Why Jews have a propensity to speak out against other peoples’ rights.  About compassion for refugees.  About the rights of GLBT people.  About genocide in Darfur or Tibet.
          Most of us in this room are not so active in causes.  We think of it as being ‘political,’ and therefore somehow distasteful.  We shy away from it.  I’m not sure I understand exactly why, but it’s a fact.  Logically, one who has known the sting of persecution or exclusion should be sensitive when others are persecuted or excluded.  And they should be more inclined to speak out about it.
          How about you?  I know many of you well, and I know many of your personal stories.  Holocaust survivors or simply displaced by the Holocaust and the Second World War.  Made homeless when regime change came to your native lands.  Having had to fight for your dignity as Jews in your own lands.  Having had to prove to yourselves and others, that you are just as good as anybody else.  If this describes you, then I have a question for you this evening.  Are you sensitive to the persecution and exclusion of others?  For whatever reason?  If not, then let me recommend that the way to transcend your unhappiness over your own treatment, is to go out of your way to treat others better.  Even if they are individuals – or groups – that you don’t particularly like.  That’s the way to happiness.
          Euthanasia.  We all know the word.  When we use it, it usually means someone taking active measures to end their own life.  Or being assisted in doing so.  But the word, which comes from Greek, simply means ‘a good death.’  The implication is that a ‘good death’ is one that enables one to avoid, or cut short, a life of suffering.
          In that sense, the woman who I buried this week had a good death.  Her loved ones should not feel guilty if they do not mourn her passing.  As long as they mourn her life itself.  Which they do.  It would have been far better for the woman to have a good life, than a good death.  But she was unable to give herself that gift.  And that, not her death, is the real tragedy in all this.

          If you’re listening to this, or reading this, you’re alive.  It is not too late for you to have a good life.  Because whatever suffering you’ve experienced, goes away when you transcend it.  Not that it didn’t happen.  Of course it did, and it has become a part of the person you are.  But if you can transcend it – if you can bring your life meaning by making your life free of whatever spirit, whatever behaviours beset you in the past – then you achieve victory over it.  And in this life, victories do not come often or easily.  But you can have this one.  Shabbat shalom.   

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