Good from Bad
There’s
an old song that declares, If it weren’t
for bad luck I’d have no luck at all. And
some of us, at least on some days, would make such a declaration. Some of us even end up sounding like Eyore,
the donkey in the Winnie the Pooh stories.
Surely you remember Eyore. He’s
the one who gave us such gems as: End of the road. Nothing to do. And no hope of things getting better. Sounds like Saturday night at my house. And:
Not much of a house. Just right for not much of a donkey. Do I sound anything like that??! If I do, please
make me retire!
Just kidding…I can whine with the best
of them, but I’m sure that unlike Eyore I’m upbeat sometimes! As is just about
everybody else. We all have our down
moments, but most of us balance those with up
moments. And that’s the way it
should be. Think about it; if we were
cheerful all the time, people would
get sick of us!
One way to get through down moments is
to adopt the attitude that good things can – and often will – come out of them. You
know what I’m talking about. I’ll give
you a couple of examples from me personal experience.
I’ve learned over time that I’m a pretty
good test-taker. For whatever reason, I can
instinctively pick the correct answer on a multiple choice test. So over time, I became quite complacent about
tests…tests for anything. Then one time,
because in my complacency I did not study for a test, I bombed it. I mean really
blew the test. And it was an important
test…for a promotion, no less. So I
learned from the experience. Since then,
whenever I’m facing a test, I always take the time to prepare. And I’ve never failed another test…for
anything. And often did far better than
I would have, had I not studied. So my
failing one test, taught me the importance of studying and preparing.
Another example. When I feel exuberant about something, I
start taking unnecessary risks. Maybe it’s
because I’m usually a careful person. So
when I feel really capable, I get exuberant and then I do whatever it is with
abandon. So one time, I crashed whilst
skiing and broke my wrist. Well, to be completely honest, it took two skiing injuries
to learn that lesson. The next season I fractured
my shoulder. So now, I’m deliberately more
careful just when I start feeling exuberantly good at something. Because there’s nothing worse than riding
down the mountain on the rescue sled.
So a bad experience can, and often does, ultimately lead to something
good. And we know that this is true. It
makes bad things, easier to endure. On
out most optimistic days, it helps us to take adversity…and laugh in its
face. But there are limits, and you can surely
probably think of a few. In the camps of
the Nazi Holocaust, doctors often performed bizarre experiments on
inmates. Often the experiments involved
severe physical or psychological abuse of the subjects. Even if such experiments could be shown to
have yielded valuable insights, they are still atrocities… So to justify such experiments on such a
basis would be sick…and no court of law in the world would exonerate someone
for culpability in such crimes if they used the ‘benefits to humanity’ as their
defence.
But when some good comes out of
adversity a person has endured accidentally,
then it is perfectly all right to see that person’s adversity as somehow
redeeming. And that has happened to me
this past week. Let me explain.
Last week I told you about the sadness I’d
felt when burying a person who had lived in our midst, apparently quite a few
years, and died all alone. Not counting
one of the Heritage Brothers and one of their employees, there were four people
including me at the funeral. And none of
them knew the deceased. And a week ago
tonight I spoke about it here in this sanctuary. And posted the drash with my thoughts on the
event, on my blog as I do every week’s drash.
And as it happens, some very positive
things happened. A member of our
community, responding to my sentiments, asked a friend with an interest in genealogy
to do some research. And they found some
family belonging to the deceased. And it
was important to them, to know of the death of their uncle. And one of the man’s nieces, having thus learned
of her uncle’s demise, did some checking that uncovered my blog post in which
she recognised her uncle’s story even though I didn’t mention him by name. And that has been a very positive for both of
us. So yes, good things do come out of unfortunate
circumstances. And that’s not all.
I have had some conversations about with
some of you about how we draw people in, and keep them in. And about how we get the word out about
events happening. Including deaths and
funerals. But even that’s not all.
Several of you in this community came to
me and told me that you took to heart things I said last Friday, and that you
made an effort to get in touch with estranged relatives and to reconcile
differences with them. And all that
gives me a sense that the things I say and do, sometimes, really make a difference.
I want to be clear that I’m not soliciting
praise or thanks by mentioning this. I’m
not trying to take credit for making good things happen in this community. I’m not trying to remind you of the value I
provide for your money. Okay, maybe a little bit! But really, I’m only trying to make a
point. And that is, the way we react to
bad circumstances, can and does lead
to good result. It isn’t the bad
circumstance itself that is redeeming. Rather,
it is what we do with it…what actions it spurs us to take. That’s where
redemption comes. It comes by our facing
adversity, and deciding to do something positive. Like study for the next test. Or ski more carefully. Or write something challenging but not
discouraging to goad others to good acts.
We sometimes have a tendency to define
ourselves by the ‘bad things’ that ‘happen’ to us. And that’s unfortunate, because if we see
life ‘happening’ to us then we tend not to take any of its lessons to heart. It is my prayer that my sharing my
experiences – of studying for test-taking, of skiing carefully, and of being
willing to speak out – will cause you to take heart and understand how much you
can bring good result. And not just
think gloomily, like Eyore, that it’s the end of the road…with nothing to do…and
no hope of things getting better. And if
we hear such sentiments, we will have no cause to think: Sounds
like Friday night at our house.
Amen, and Shabbat shalom.
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